hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
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