forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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