spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize
