By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
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