ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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