What a fucking waste of an outfit
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
