Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Randomize
