the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize