youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I need moral support for this bender
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
My life is pants optional.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize