My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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