i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
