kristin has been a bad kristin
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
