Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
