The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
