I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
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some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
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I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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