Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
