Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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