I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
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