I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize