seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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