even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Randomize
