Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize