I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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