Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
