Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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