He disabled his match.com account in front of me
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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