We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
These tits shall not be calmed
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