operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
