so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
