I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
