I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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