i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
