what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
