Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
