Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Randomize
