I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
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Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
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Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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