I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
