i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Randomize
