He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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