it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
