Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
