when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
