You can't special order awesome
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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