all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
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