you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I touched a dick in church today
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
