epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Randomize
