i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Randomize
