My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Randomize
