Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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