he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize