yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I looked at my own cervix.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I want her autograph on my taint
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
