it hurts more in the daytime
Little spoons don't ask big questions
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
