Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Randomize
