we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
