Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
