i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Randomize
